Act V: In Which a Parade Continues Despite the 95% Chance of Golden Showers

Please watch this video if you haven't yet seen it:

Isn’t that great? If that doesn’t put a smile on your face then you are probably not human and you didn't see it because you were too busy licking your irises. Every time I log into Facebook I’m hit with a virtual money shot of positivity and this video is just one example of the “uplifting” things that I see there daily. Sure, it sprays into my eyes and ruins my shirt but that’s okay. This kind of stuff makes people feel good and it’s comforting to think altruism exists.

Of course that bit about altruism isn’t necessarily true. Experiments aimed at proving its existence have been, at best, inconclusive. The most thorough studies, the ones removing as many undesirable variables as possible, show that altruism, as we define it, exists only if a person feels they are being observed. The best argument against its existence is made in Chapter 3 of the book Super Freakonomics*. They analyze multiple experiments, the results of which would have Jesus questioning his decision. You’re probably thinking that the video above shows numerous examples of altruism, and you’re correct. If controlled experiments show that people are self-serving then what you see in the video is just anomalous behavior.

Now here is a fictional and slightly exaggerated example of a common Facebook thread I observe:

• Status Update : “Standing out in the rain got me sick but it was so worth it to help all those kittens find a home!”
• Comment 1: “I hate, hate, hate this! No one helping kittens should get sick!”
• Comment 2: “’If you haven’t got charity in your heart then you have the worst kind of heart trouble’ – Bob Hope”
• Comment 3: “Hopefully this video will make you feel better. You're a beautiful person and if everyone had a heart like yours the whole world would be like this":

  
If studies show people to be altruistic only under observation, why the outpouring of love for humanity on Facebook? I don't necessarily observe this love of, and belief in, our fellow man outside of that website. People don't seem to maintain that worldview, including some of the ones posting this stuff. 

I truly don't care how optimistic and hopeful people are but it feels fake. In essence I don’t understand the need to constantly let everyone know how good of a person you are, or how much love you have in your heart. Is there an election I don’t know about? Are they merely trying to convince themselves they are good? If the altruism experiments imply the primary motivation for doing the right thing is based upon a concern of judgement on one's actions, then I can’t help but wonder if those oozing positivity on Facebook do so for the same reason. Some people are naturally cheery and maintain that demeanor in the face of all adversity. Most often, positive attitudes are negatively correlated with dislike and/or disagreement, meaning if you cross them a venemous non-Facebook persona will manifest itself.

My response to that security camera video shows a different and more commonly documented human behavior. In both cases, the people were not conscious of the cameras:

A herd of Ginormous Americanus altuistically trample two people to save $50 on a late model HDTV

Would you believe people say I’m a cynic? Oh, it’s true! It’s true! Some even go so far as to call me negative. Can you believe that? Of course I'm a cynic! You'd probably be more shocked to find out I'm divorced. That being said, I’m not negative and I don’t constantly piss on people’s parades. Yes, I think the worst of people, society, and the human condition, but I laugh at it. I acknowledge and choose to laugh at all the shitty aspects life rather than let them bring me down. I make jokes - some may be offensive - and I may challenge someone’s thoughts or beliefs in the process but I don’t do it because I’m negative. I do it because I honestly think everything can be funny and people need to laugh more. People need to stop being so goddamn defensive about their opinion. Do I offend people? A few I'm sure. The vast majority understand that I'm joking and laugh saying I have a "sardonic wit", which I take as a compliment. I think inciting laughter in anyone is a positive attribute regardless of topic. Laughter heals, after all.

I get frustrated when I see this outpouring of positivity on Facebook because I see it as cliche at this point. It is an extension of the 1960's hippy mentality that love will heal all. That mentality has been the cutting edge of social revolution for 50 years now and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. It's great if you love people and you believe people possess the ability to move mountains by working together. All I'm saying is that it hasn't really accomplished anything and while some groups are more socially accepted, the entire working class has suffered at the hands of big business, big finance, big banking, big marketing, big corrupt politicians, and a wealthy class that simply can't seem to get enough. 

As a father, I am very concerned with the world in which my children grow up and what type of world they will inherit. I don’t want them to become indebted wage slaves living paycheck to paycheck, lucky if they can eat and pay the bills because they are taxed so heavily to pay off debt incurred from perpetual warfare while billionaires continue to make billions  and corporations get billion dollar tax returns . I would prefer they have a working atmosphere, access to health care, and, above all, freedom to do what they wish, when they wish, how they wish (within reason) without concern of money, concern of offending someone, or penalty of law. I hope that they will not have to filter fact from bullshit out of news content. I hope they don't have marketers enticing them to indebt themselves for unnecessary material goods. I get frustrated because society as a whole doesn’t seem to share my concerns and all of our kids are going to inherit a steaming pile of ill-formed peanutty shit. You ever notice there are no advertisements for ill-formed peanutty shit? That's because it's so awful that even people with marketing degrees cannot make it sound good. 

Recently I was stuck in traffic and I took notice of the number of cars around me. I was surrounded by hundreds of strangers on one patch of I-64, strangers just trying to get wherever it is they go to do whatever it is they do. Some of these people have stickers on their car espousing political beliefs, musical preferences, sports preferences, or showing stick figure families. There were truck nuts, car eyelashes, and various other forms of self-expression I loathe. Meanwhile, a song playing on my stereo sampled the following monologue from Network**:

It dawned on me. I’m that guy. I'm Howard Beale! Sure, that video is outdated but it is still relevant. Technology has made our world tiny and there is a global recession. Crime is down, but spree killings are up, which is terrifying. Yes, people seem outraged in some ways but they also seem fearful and content in others. At the very least they seem unwilling to break routine. 

Of course, in real life people would see that guy on TV and say "he's fucking nuts!" So, I guess I'm "fucking nuts" for being that guy. Being conscious of your proximity to hundreds of people on a 3 mile stretch of interstate really puts the U.S. population into perspective. I always knew the world didn't revolve around me or the sun that shines out of my ass, but I failed to realize how big America is, let alone the world. When you're surrounded by strangers as far as the eye can see and you can tell that most of them are content with their lives - inside their overpriced vehicles, listening to talk radio, buried in their smart phones, posting what a beautiful day it is to be in stuck in gridlock - it's infuriating to someone that thinks the world is going to shit. It is evident by the political bumper stickers that many people do not question what they are told by pundits or the media, let alone think for themselves. The entertainment stickers and car decorations give you an idea of their priorities, their interests, and show a pension to spend money on pointless pop-culture phenomena. No, not all of them can be lumped into a single category, but I got the idea that many of them are so wrapped up in everyday stress that they don't even realize everyday kind of sucks a little more than the last. 

I am Howard Beale's fear of impotency. The most unrealistic thing about the Howard Beale monologue is that he's actually saying that on TV. I am deeply dissatisfied with our culture, our government, and our future and I have no means of riling up the masses. 

Am I only one with this worldview? It often seems a majority of Americans are complacent and ignorant of exactly how screwed I think we are. They seem to think their life is great. Several polls  actually indicate many Americans are dissatisfied with government performance. Other  ones show people are dissatisfied and pessimistic about the economy***. While even more show people think we need to raise taxes on the wealthy. From Teabaggers to Occupiers to the "silent majority" there is divide on both problems and solutions. Problems and solutions don't matter if everyone continues with business as usual. People in general:

• Distrust politicians and disapprove of their performance yet continuously vote for one of two parties that seem to differ on social issues which are never legislated while those that are legislated benefit the wealthy and big business, not the commoners.
• Hate outsourcing yet continue to support companies that outsource or buy goods manufactured from outsourced plants
• Despise a company’s business model but continue shopping there
• Feel our education system is terrible but don't participate in local elections
• Complain about traffic but refuse to carpool or use public transportation
• Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera

Positive atitudes are great for small scale individual changes, lifestyle changes, and business models. A positive mindset has helped me quit smoking, lose weight, maintain an exercise regimen, raise 4 children, and, most importantly, not put a bullet in the head of my depression riddled void of a life. Unfortunately, great societal changes are always born out of anger, not complacency and positivism. The American Revolution, abolition, Civil Rights, universal suffrage, colonial independence, European austerity protests, and damn near every revolution you can name, including the non-violent ones, are born out of anger. Yes, revolutionaries and protestors often remain positive about their mission and its outcome, but movements would never happen if people just sat around exchanging niceties and hoping for the best.

How many times have you heard someone say that they are going to rid their lives of "negative" people. If someone is a human Eeyore, just a sad sorry sack that never has anything positive to say and serves only to depress everyone with endless nonconstructive commentary, solution-less criticism, and nothing worthwhile to contribute, by all means, kick them in the taint until the stuffing comes out. On the other hand, if they are well-informed and are merely challenging your perception of reality, you should probably have a conversation with them. Long before smart phones, internet, computers, television, and radio, people used to do this thing called talking. They exchanged ideas. They didn't regurgitate what some corporate media asshole told them. They read books and articles and then discussed them with friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. They didn't stop discussing things with people that had a different views because that is how you learn. You want to be positive? Try understanding opposing views instead of judging them. 

I understand the positive outlook view. I get it and I have it on certain topics. The optimism/pessimism debate is just so cliché. People put so much emphasis on how the glass should be viewed that they fail to acknowledge it isn’t full either way****.  

No, I don't have all the answers. Answers aren't necessary until enough people are fed up with the problem. Polls show people are getting there, but actions show complacency and Facebook shows fuck-all about shit about fuck-all about shit about fuck-all but a bunch of rainbows and kittens. Social media should be a catalyst of change, a springboard for new ideas, and a forum for discussion and spreading information. Instead, technology has only helped people to cipher out all ideas that oppose their worldview and, as a result, they isolate their mind and learn nothing.

I honestly think contented positivity is part of the problem. We can all hold hands, sit Indian-style, and sing Don’t Worry Be Happy, but it won’t change anything. Thinking the best of people and plugging your charitable open-mindedness on social media is not going to change anything. We cannot meditate our problems away. It isn't easy and it isn't supposed to be. Businesses notice when people stop shopping there. Politicians notice when you don't vote for them. Outsourcing companies notice when sales decline. Banks notice when accounts are closed and people stop borrowing. The individual can make a difference in numbers. It takes inconveniencing yourself. As George W. Bush would say "Ya gotta stay the course. Now where's my Spaghetti-O's?" Research the current protests in Europe that are not being covered by our media because they are already dealing with things that are coming soon to an America near you. Research how Iceland handled their economic crisis and how they're recovering in comparison to the U.S. and see if you you still think a belief in human altruism is getting us anywhere positive.

If you really want positive change, a positive society where humanity and love can flourish, where there's kittens and puppies in every household, and random acts of senseless hugging in the street, Godammit, you’ve first got to get mad! 

 * Great read and I highly recommend it.

** Great movie and I highly recommend it.

*** That's right I said they're pessimistic.

****It probably contains piss.