Act IV: In Which Congress Brings Out the Gimp*

For some reason our media labels US economic crises with cute names. We don't have market failures, we have "bubbles".  We don't have a fiscal crisis, we have a "debt ceiling". The latest economic crisis, the "Fiscal Cliff" - a  phrase which they've beaten into the ground - was recently "resolved". The resolution was accompanied by a barrage of bi-partisan Congressional self praise which is infuriating considering the fact that they responsible for the crisis in the first place.

The resolution of 2011's "Debt Ceiling Crisis" resulted in 2012's "Fiscal Cliff Crisis". In a nutshell, the Budget Control Act of 2011 was set to go into effect January 1, 2013 and, among other things, it was to repeal the Bush era tax cuts, end specific business tax breaks, and initiate several spending cuts. All of this was going to coincide with the beginning of Obamacare taxation. The overall effect of less expendable middle class income, business expense cuts (jobs anyone?), and a decrease in government services would have,at best, worsened the current recession. 2011's "Debt Ceiling Resolution" merely postponed the fiscal crisis until 2013 at which point it was relabeled a "Fiscal Cliff" to make it seem like a completely separate issue.

As usual, Republicans don't want to raise taxes, especially on the wealthy, and seek to solve the problem through spending cuts. Democrats want to solve the problem by raising taxes on those making more than $250,000 per year without any spending cuts. Neither way will work. Most every economist agrees, at a minimum, taxes need to increase on the wealthy, if not everyone, and that spending cannot continue undeterred if there is to ever be any semblance of a budget. Still, neither side will concede nor bring any new ideas to the table.

So what happened in this "resolution"? Democrats caved on the $250,000 target and agreed to increase taxes on individuals making more than $400,000 ($450k for couples). This is a marginal tax increase meaning that those affected will pay the normal tax rate on the first $399,999 of their income and the higher rate on only the amount that goes over $400,000. Seriously, that really isn't going to help too much. Don't worry, the middle class will ALSO get a tax increase because Congress failed to extend the "Social Security Tax Holiday" which forced employers to cover 2% of all their employees Social Security contributions. Now that 2% will, once again, come from employee income. As a result, people making around $50,000 can look to pay nearly $1,000 additional in taxes per year. Any reduction in middle class income can have a negative effect on our economy because they are the key consumers and spend larger portions of their incomes than the wealthy. All spending cut decisions were postponed a few weeks for a 2nd "Debt Ceiling Crisis". If past behavior is any indication how this year's debt ceiling crisis will be handled it will be the same childish partisan pissing contest we always see. Last time it affected our credit score. With any luck this time it can ruin the world economy (which is actually possible given US economic influence).

In truth our economy is screwed no matter what. The successes we've experienced are only due to stimulus money from the past two administrations. Economic stimulus packages the equivalent of treating gangrene with a band-aid: It ain't fixing shit and the infection is steadily spreading.

Here are three simple thoughts regarding taxing and spending that would be really beneficial but that no one talks about:

1) Why are we protecting the wealthy? How does that benefit us? Do we really need an upper class? Is it necessary they exist? I'm sick of the favoritism ALL politicians show them, from taxes to loopholes to special interest legislation. This isn't solely a Republican thing either. Republicans are just the more honest about who they serve.

If you say something stupid like "the wealthy create jobs" I'm going to kick you in the ding-ding**. Anyone that believes that should be stuffed into a box filled with AIDS tainted razor blades and rolled down a rocky slope into a vat of Phall curry. They don't start companies out of the goodness of their hearts or out of some  sense of civic duty. It's all about money. They exploit the working class - pay as few people as little as possible with as few benefits as possible - and hoard the profits. Even though the government looks out for them, the wealthy use loopholes to avoid paying taxes at all costs. They bite the hand that feeds them, employee and overseer alike.

I'm not a communist and I'm not saying we should seize all their money. I'm saying that if government insists on maintaining a progressive income based tax system, then we should progressively tax the shit out the wealthy because that's the way a progressive income tax system is supposed to work. They'll be okay. They're rich.

While I'm on the subject. I'm also sick of hearing millionaires argue that they aren't paying enough in taxes. If you truly feel you are not paying your fair share, give some of your money to the government willingly or shut up. It's bad enough that we pay more in taxes without having you rub it in our faces, asshole.

2) When it comes to spending cuts, why are we always looking to cut social programs? I've got a great idea. STOP FUCKING KILLING BROWN PEOPLE. It's simple. The bottom line is that we could place a 90% tax rate on everyone making more than $450,000 and it would maybe pay for a week of all our current military operations. Since 2011, apart from Iraq and Afghanistan, US forces have also been active in Libya, Jordan, Somalia, Uganda, Pakistan, and Yemen. In addition, the US contributes a majority of the soldiers and weapons to UN operations. We've seen what one day of war costs and it's insane.

We engage these wars for two reasons: Hegemony and Resources. If you look at this as an investment (money invested versus the return) it seems like an awful idea. Even a smart businessman would say "Can we kill these people more cheaply? No? Well then stop killing them". Why would we not even consider stopping our wars and/or closing our overseas military bases? It is a huge drain on the budget that helps only the rich, big business, and government power...oh, never mind. I forgot these things trump logic and the well being of the citizenry.

If you say we do this to "export democracy" or to "protect our freedom" you should be teabagged with ipecac coated balls. The best way to export democracy would be allowing countries to set up their own government without US coercion to attain influence. Also, none of these countries are a threat to America at all, end of story. I said "brown people" because most of our military action seems to occur in the "military powerhouses" of the Middle East and Africa.

Someone might say "these people hate our freedom". To that person I would say, "you, sir, did not have a good enough grasp on the English language to be President". If they hate freedom so much why aren't they attacking Holland, Canada, Australia, Hong Kong, Sweden, or any other country more free than our own.

3) Congress itself is a giant waste of Federal money. They don't really do anything, but when they do, it's really shitty (ethically, morally, qualitatively, and quantitatively shitty). We should institute term limits, require transparent campaign financial records, reduce Congressional salaries, and, most importantly, disband the House of Representatives. The last point is key. These fuckers are held responsible by too small of a constituency. As a result, they may believe and say crazy shit that is important only to the people of Beaufort County, MS (for example) but still have influence on legislation that affects everyone. Since they can speak their batshit crazy views without fear of losing their seat, they even have some sway on public opinion. The House of Representatives is essentially an institutional WWE-Barnum Brothers hybrid where the craziest shit is said, the most fighting occurs***, and most legislation is tainted. It is antiquated, no longer relevant, and was only created to make it seem like states matter. They don't. Ask Colorado and Washington how much money they are making off the legalization of marijuana.

I find Congressional incompetence infuriating. They are the main problem with our government. The 113th Congress has recently convened for the first time but the previous Congress had an average 18% approval rating in 2012. A recent report indicates their approval rating is as low as 5%. Congressional approval ratings have averaged 33% since 1974. You read that correctly. Despite continuous widespread disapproval, we tend to reelect incumbents approximately 85% of the time. Until people hold them accountable for their actions, nothing will change. If they had term limits and knew they would soon be part of the private sector they would have more incentive to act in the interest of everyone. As it stands now, private sector life really isn't a consideration for most of them. I wish I had a job where my boss had such low expectations that I could disregard my responsibilities to the point that the reputation of both myself and my profession suffered, all while having no threat of actually losing my job. That's a lower expectation than that of meteorologists. The reputation of a professional politician is rivaled only by that of Lawyers and Used Car Salesmen, all of which stay gainfully employed despite public perception that they are slimy, untrustworthy, douchebags.

A man can dream.


    *To clarify, we would be Marcellus Wallace in this scenario and fuck you if you don't get the reference. 
  **That goes for ladies too.
***Pelosi from the top turnbuckle! She misses! Boehner slaps her in the Figure 4 and she taps! She taps! $400,000 it is!